Went to Pyramid on my own yesterday to get shoes n just chill...surprisingly i quite enjoyed goin alone.i WAS supposed to go with my mom who ffk-ed me for gym though haha...but....i lost to a freaking gym!A lifeless building!WTF!!!! XD
But well it was fun....bought my new pair of work shoes(which hurt like a *toot*...curse Bata),got some stuff from Daiso,had a small binge which included Ice Monster(yuuuum~) and even joined Mr Donny and his jazz band for a song. X3
Playing that one song kinda made me realize how much i missed playing instruments...guess i'll get back to playing the piano n guitar...It makes me feel calm and at peace and somewhat...fulfilled?i guess...weird though...
And ever since i decided to restart my blog i find myself less....stressed?emotional?i dunno...maybe its coz i let out a portion of it here...but its a refreshing feeling....and i like it....gives me something not so pointless to fill my time.Anyways enough bout the boring stuff I'm saying to people who barely know me lol.I'm off to do more "pointless" things,in short,reading manga. XD
Cheers~
So i was going through my old blog and decided to delete it since its been more than half a year that i've updated so i figured might as well start a fresh one seeing as i felt mortified at the lameness of my previous posts.Then again if i think about it even if i start a fresh one I'd still be posting lame stuff... XD
Oh well anyways for now,ever since I've starting working i guess things are kinda different compared to when i was studying...there are good and bad sides to everything.guess i just gotta learn to deal with it.so far i'm enjoying my job and i hope to continue that feeling so we'll see.
I still spend time with close friends and i really do think i'm lucky to have them around with me.there are times i still find myself wondering why they would wanna be friends with me.i guess i'm still pessimistic in that sense and when i have too much time i tend to think too much negatively for example stuff like "why do they bother being friends with me...i don't deserve it neither do i warrant any attention" etc etc...
Emoness still comes to me occasionally,that i don't deny but i try my best to stay away from it.It's not too easy unfortunately when there are jerks who just live to piss the living daylights outta me.So it's good that sometimes i can get distracted.
So far right now the only thing that reaaaaaaally pisses me off is when people bug me about my love life.i mean,i like being single and i don't see why i should get a boyfriend just coz evryone else has one.now,don't get me wrong.i mean,there ARE times i feel like "oh i wish i had someone like that too" when i see a close couple and all that but i just haven't met a guy i can feel secure with.if you put it in a harsh manner,then yes,i'm a coward.i don't deny that coz i myself admit that it's true.Right now,in my mind,there's nothing more scary and painful than getting your heart broken or played with which results in me retreating from these relationship issues.
I just think I'll find a guy in my own time so i'd greatly appreciate people not pushing me...yes you guys know exactly who you are so i won't bother mentioning names.it's tiring and yes,even though i wouldn't say it out loud,it's extremely disheartening coz when you guys push it on me,i feel absolutely down.It makes me feel like a loser coz you guys make it sound like im some incompetent desperate gal who cant even snag a guy for all 20 years of my life.I understand your somewhat "good intentions" i really do but if you guys really are my friends you'd leave me be.It will happen when it does.
Now that that bit of ranting is done with I actually feel kinda better.Alrighty then i think i've ranted enough for the day...this should be more than adequate for the first post on a fresh blog.so for now,adieu and to those whom actually read this post to the end,i thank you for your concern and i apologize for boring you with my rants.tata~
