deletion and recreation...and rants...

So i was going through my old blog and decided to delete it since its been more than half a year that i've updated so i figured might as well start a fresh one seeing as i felt mortified at the lameness of my previous posts.Then again if i think about it even if i start a fresh one I'd still be posting lame stuff... XD

Oh well anyways for now,ever since I've starting working i guess things are kinda different compared to when i was studying...there are good and bad sides to everything.guess i just gotta learn to deal with it.so far i'm enjoying my job and i hope to continue that feeling so we'll see.

I still spend time with close friends and i really do think i'm lucky to have them around with me.there are times i still find myself wondering why they would wanna be friends with me.i guess i'm still pessimistic in that sense and when i have too much time i tend to think too much negatively for example stuff like "why do they bother being friends with me...i don't deserve it neither do i warrant any attention" etc etc...

Emoness still comes to me occasionally,that i don't deny but i try my best to stay away from it.It's not too easy unfortunately when there are jerks who just live to piss the living daylights outta me.So it's good that sometimes i can get distracted.

So far right now the only thing that reaaaaaaally pisses me off is when people bug me about my love life.i mean,i like being single and i don't see why i should get a boyfriend just coz evryone else has one.now,don't get me wrong.i mean,there ARE times i feel like "oh i wish i had someone like that too" when i see a close couple and all that but i just haven't met a guy i can feel secure with.if you put it in a harsh manner,then yes,i'm a coward.i don't deny that coz i myself admit that it's true.Right now,in my mind,there's nothing more scary and painful than getting your heart broken or played with which results in me retreating from these relationship issues.

I just think I'll find a guy in my own time so i'd greatly appreciate people not pushing me...yes you guys know exactly who you are so i won't bother mentioning names.it's tiring and yes,even though i wouldn't say it out loud,it's extremely disheartening coz when you guys push it on me,i feel absolutely down.It makes me feel like a loser coz you guys make it sound like im some incompetent desperate gal who cant even snag a guy for all 20 years of my life.I understand your somewhat "good intentions" i really do but if you guys really are my friends you'd leave me be.It will happen when it does.

Now that that bit of ranting is done with I actually feel kinda better.Alrighty then i think i've ranted enough for the day...this should be more than adequate for the first post on a fresh blog.so for now,adieu and to those whom actually read this post to the end,i thank you for your concern and i apologize for boring you with my rants.tata~